i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
