hell yes lets make some ravioli
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
