I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
