wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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