Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
