this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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