just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
