thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
