Whod you bang
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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