This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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