he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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