just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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