We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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