What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
