I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
