Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
