Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
