Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
