my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
