i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
