I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
