Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
