Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
