She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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