Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have post one night stand depression
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