I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
