Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
