Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we made out on top of his cat.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
