She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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