I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
