I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
