I heard we made out
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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