how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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