Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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