I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
