Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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