i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
