Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
