We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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