I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
