I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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