I think I died a long time ago.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
