PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
