I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
