I feel like I'm in dance class right now
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
