She is in my trunk
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
