so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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