Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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