I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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