It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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